So...it's been awhile to say the least....almost a year! Geesh! My life has changed in BIG, BIG ways in the past few months....but that's another blog for another time, and some of the transitions may just be answered in the words to follow :)
In short....I attend and work at a new church now. Wheaton Bible Church, in Wheaton IL. It is a fantastic community of believers that I am privileged to be a part of. One of the things we have been challenged to do is to create our "2 Minute Stories." These are two minute versions of our faith stories/how God is currently working in our lives that we can have formulated and on the tips of our tongue at a moments' notice in order to share and connect with people who may not be believers in Christ, or just to share our journey in general.
Part of the ways that God has totally blessed me since being here is by placing me in a community of women who are studying the book of James together, and just generally overall "doing life together." I have met with these ladies for three weeks now, and I am already incredibly blessed by their friendship and community.
Our leaders challenged us last week to come prepared to share our "2 Minute Story" tonight at group. I always get a mix of emotions when asked to share my story because in some ways I consider it "bland and unexciting." I even get a little anxiety over having a story that seems so "easy" to people because I know that's not everyone's story...and that makes me feel a little guilty. I remember starting to share my story in a small group a couple years ago and beginning my story by saying "my story isn't super exciting..." no sooner had the words left my mouth, and a guy in my group stopped me and said, "Wait...did Jesus find you?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Does He continue to pursue you daily?" Again I said, "Yes." And he replied simply by saying, "Then you have an amazing story!" Needless to say, as I wrote my two minute story for group tonight, the same fears and anxieties came to mind as I set out to pen my words on the page. I remembered what he had said, and continued writing the story that God brought to my mind. As I listened to the stories tonight....I was struck by the diversity of the stories in our group. Some of these women had been through some incredibly challenging stuff, others had a fairly decent "Christian" home kinda life....but the common theme was the same. Our God is relentless in His pursuit of our hearts. No matter how many times we turn away from Him, no matter how much it seems like He isn't there, no matter if we grew up in a Christian home or not....He is ALWAYS. THERE. Period. And He always pursues, and loves us through our circumstances, and shows Himself in tangible and evident ways in our life. What an incredible love He has for us! Unfathomable.
In the spirit of the title of this blog, it only seems appropriate that I share the story of how I was ultimately "remade." This is my two minute story....a mere glimpse at the work He has done and continues to do in my life. A snapshot of His relentless love and pursuit. A picture of the greatest love story EVER. Enjoy :)
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I accepted Jesus Christ into my life at the early age of 10 years old after hearing a speaker at my
AWANA club. I knew that night that I wanted to accept Christ into my heart, but I didn’t know
how or what to do. After some talking with my parents and a pastor friend of the family, I put
my faith in Christ on April 10, 1995 and was baptized shortly after.
I grew up with Christian parents who loved me and did everything they could to make sure
my brother and I had a great life. Because of that, my life was “easy” and left little room for
developing a true reliance on Christ and the development of a true Christ follower.
I spent most of my elementary and high school years holding loosely to my Christian roots,
doing my best to be a good person, and knowing that as a child I had “punched my salvation
ticket” I had the hope that someday I would be in Heaven. But my faith was little more than
what some may call “fire insurance.”
My high school years were rough for me, and every day was filled with teasing, ridicule,
insecurity and trying to fly under the radar just enough so that I didn’t become the brunt of the
next joke, but still maintain some surfacey relationships with a few close friends. I was the only
person at my youth group from my school, and I saw that as just another place and way that I
didn’t fit in and a place that magnified my insecurities. My solution was to stop attending youth
group all together for several years. I spent most of that time away being just good enough
that people didn’t ask questions, but behind closed doors trying to keep up with my non-
Christian friends, and dabbling in the world as much as I could without ruining my reputation.
I blamed my youth pastor as my reasoning for not attending youth group, as if somehow my
disobedience was his fault.
My senior year my church had a revival service, and I went along with my parents. I remember
sitting in a youth service and the pastor talking about how a Christ follower’s life should look
different from people in the world. He used an analogy of three chairs. He said chair 1 was a
sold out Christ follower, and chair 3 was someone who was sold out to the world. Then he said
that a lot of us fall into the chair 2 category. We have one arm around our Christianity when it’s
convenient, and one arm around the world when it’s convenient, and we aren’t truly living for
Christ. He then gave us time to think and pray about which chair represented us. I remember
sitting there so convicted by my chair 2 status, and sincerely wanting nothing more than to be
in chair 1 and following Christ with my whole life. I prayed and asked God to change my heart
right there, and show me what it truly meant to live life for Him.
That same year, my grandma passed away from ovarian cancer. It was one of the hardest
things I had dealt with in my life up until that point. Knowing that I couldn’t navigate the pain
and grief on my own, I went back to my youth group. What I found was that even though
I left, the students and leaders in that group never stopped caring for me, and were such
a community for me in my time of grief. I then started attending youth group again, and
developing some of my most meaningful relationships with kids there from other schools, and
with my youth pastor and his family.
Now, 8 + years later I am able to see how God continued to pursue me throughout my
disobedience to Him. For awhile I looked back on my high school years as painful and ones
that I wanted badly to forget. I started serving in student ministries after graduating high
school, and have been serving in student ministries for almost 9 years. A couple of years ago
it occurred to me that none of my experience was an accident. God had a plan for my pain,
and a way to use my story. I now see my story as a way to relate and minister to girls under
my influence in student ministries. God has developed a passion for student ministries in my
heart, and I have always prayed for an opportunity to serve in ministry full time. Having went
to a secular university, my opportunities for that seemed to be lacking. In the spring of 2012,
after some intentional time of prayer and fasting about God’s plan for my life professionally,
I learned of the position with student ministries at Wheaton Bible Church. I was hired in June
2012…at the same time as that former youth pastor who I blamed for all my problems was
hired at Wheaton Bible Church as the Lead Pastor of Student Ministries. I now spend everyday
working within my passion and working with someone who played such a key role in my
spiritual development as a teenager and who’s family has loved and cared for me for nearly 13
years. Although I still struggle with bouts of insecurity from time to time, and those high school
memories can taunt me, I have no doubt in my mind that God had a plan from the get go, and I
am sitting smack dab in the center of His will. For that I am truly grateful.
