Earlier this week, my Facebook status simply stated what I felt like my life was so obviously screaming. "Amanda McLaughlin is completely overwhelmed." It wasn't a lie. In my head, I had every right to be overwhelmed. I had just a tad on my plate. Finishing work up to be gone for 3 weeks, preparing for Africa mentally, preparing for Africa physically (I hate laundry and packing...this is a recipe for bad news prior to trips!), add on to there that I still had money to raise for my trip at the end of last week, my team was still waiting on 5 Visas to come through, I was wrestling with God in several areas, and you could forget about my healthy eating plan! I was too busy for that nonsense! Did somebody say McDonald's!? Throw all these things together, and some more I'm sure, and I was as emo as a good Dashboard Confessional song. I mean it....I would read Facebook status' of friends...happy, sad, or even "I had cereal for breakfast" kind of status', and I would burst into tears. My poor mom was getting the emails I'm sure she dreads from me....you know, the ones where I sit there and write them, and she doesn't know it (I'm sure she prob does), but I'm writing them with tears streaming down my face. Yup. That kind of week. I would lay in bed everynight praying for God to calm my spirit, and that I would get some sleep. I mean, really! I needed that sleep!
About midweek I woke up earlier than my alarm (hate that!), to a text message from Facebook. I immediately thought two things. A.) I flippin' HATE Facebook mobile! Why are you sending me texts at 5 am? B.) I opted to have Facebook mobile...so I needed to calm down about that. When I read it, I was instantly calmed by the fact that a dear friend of mine had read my status and left a piece of scripture on my wall for me to read. I opened up my Bible, read the scripture, and it was as if instantly everything was put into perspective. I felt my spirit calming, but more than anything I felt like from that point forward God was tellling me it was okay to be overwhelmed. But not the kind of overwhelmed that I was feeling.
It took me awhile to piece if all together, but now...as I'm sitting here the night before my trip. I am seeing things a lot more clearly, and in a whole new kind of overwhelmed! It's as if God has been saying, "Go ahead Amanda. Be overwhelmed. But let me remind you of the things you should be overwhelmed by. You have a great job...who let you off for 3 weeks to take a once in a life time trip across the world to declare My name and rejoice with your brothers and sisters there. That same trip is the trip that you are stressing about preparing for mentally...just follow Me. Oh yeah, and that laundry? You have clothes don't you? Enjoy them. Remember how you still needed $1000 for your trip just a couple weeks ago? I brought you that money. All of it. And all of the money for the rest of your team. And then some. The Visas that everyone was waiting on....I did that too. Luckily I'm tight with the Nigerian embassy. The last one showed up today...you had to have known I was gonna work that out. You know that wrestling match we keep having about hard things in your life? Keep wrestling with it. You are going to be stronger for it, and you won't believe what I'm waiting to bless your life with if you just trust and follow Me. It makes me smile to see you happy and I delight in giving you the desires of your heart. That's how much I love you. By the way...great weigh in today. You doubted that I could give you the will power to take this weight loss journey, didn't you? How does it feel to be 41 lbs lighter? I am so proud of You, daughter. Are you still overwhelmed? You are one blessed girl...it's okay to be a little overwhelmed. My love and grace tends to do that."
Now obviously...that's not a direct quote from God..ha! But, it's what I feel like He is saying in my spirit in so many words...put into my words.
To make my point, I am still overwhelmed. But a new kind of overwhelmed. An overwhelmed that can only come from someone who is in awe of the awesome power, ways, and grace of the King of the Universe. Overwhelmed by the fact that when you trust God with the seemingly impossible situations in life, He delights in making them possible. Overwhelmed by a God who loves His people so much that He delights in giving them the desires of their hearts, and blessing them.
Tomorrow morning I will get on a plane and head literally across the world to Nigeria, Africa. I will be in a culture I've never been in, seeing things I've never seen, meeting people I've never met, being in situations and places I never dreamed of being, and being used by God to declare His name and bring love to a nation in His name. I am so humbled that He has chosen to use me in this way. And I think it's pretty safe to say that this is just the beginning of my being overwhelmed.
